and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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