With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
