wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize