I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
