Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
