I want to stick my p in your. b.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
