Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
