I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
