god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
