someone get that fucking seahorse.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize