Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
