Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
