I want to make a zoo with you.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
