belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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