So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
this hospital has no fireball
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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