i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
