when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
