She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
