just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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