I bet he comes in French.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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