I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
