Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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