We're like a lot better than the average bears
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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