Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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