Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
