Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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