i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
