god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
