youre lurking in front of me
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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