Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
