PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
