Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
