If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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