Say something about gay babies.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
