I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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