my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
...so i touched it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
