I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
