I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
