Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
