there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The air was thick with penises
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
