Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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