Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
