you guys were way drunker than both of me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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