sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
