I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
someone owes me an orgasm
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
