you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
