there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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