Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
