So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
