I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize