remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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