I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We need to get me chipped asap
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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