Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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