There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
