remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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