So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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