Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have feelings that need drinking.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
