Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
