I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
