So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
