we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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