Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
