How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
