Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
