Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it's like heaven, but drunker
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize