Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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