Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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