How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
