i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize