I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
