Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
