she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize